NGAPHANDLE kokuba uye wamkelwa, okanye wahlukana nesalamane esilahlekileyo ixesha elide phantsi kwezinye iimeko, kunzima ukucinga kanye oko kwakuhamba ngengqondo kaMat Love entwasahlobo edlulileyo ngexesha losuku olulindeleke kakhulu lokuzifumanisa.



Emva kokuqhuba iiyure ezili-10 ukusuka eMorgan Hill ukuya kwidolophu encinci yolwandle yaseBandon, eOre. Ekugqibeleni apho, wadibana noNancy Leona Brown, ibhinqa elamzalela kwindlu yasefama ngowe-1953 waza wamshiya ngoko nangoko.

Ngaphandle kwentombi yakhe ekwishumi elivisayo, uBrown wayesisihlobo sesibini segazi u-Love, 57, owake wadibana naye.





Kwakukho le mvakalelo imnandi yonxibelelwano, uthi, ekhumbula intlanganiso kunye neentsuku ezalandelayo, apho waziswa kwiseti enkulu yamalungu osapho amatsha. Yimvakalelo yokuba ungowakho - ukuba awukho endaweni.

Uthando lwaphefumlelwa ukuba afune uBrown emva kokuba umfazi wakhe, uJoan, abe namava akhe kunye nesihlobo esilahlekileyo. Ngo-2005, wadityaniswa nomntakwabo owayehlala eLas Vegas. UJoan wayesandul’ ukuva ngobukho bakhe xa utata wakhe watyhila ukuthandana kwangaphandle komtshato okwaphumela ekubeni akhulelwe.



Saseka intlanganiso kwindawo yokuhlala ehotele kwiStrip, utshilo. I lift yavuleka, yaphuma izitepsi le ndoda yayifana nje nohlobo oluncinci lukatata. Ndothuka.

Kwezi ntsuku, inani elandayo labantu liphinda lidibane namalungu osapho alahlekileyo, enkosi kakhulu kwiindawo zokuncokola ezinje ngeFacebook kunye neMyspace ezenza ukukhangela isalamane kube lula kakhulu. Nditsho ne-media mogul u-Oprah Winfrey kutshanje uye wafunda ukuba unodadewabo ongunina owamncama ukuba amkhulise kwaye wagcina imfihlo amashumi eminyaka.



Umkhwa ubonakaliswe ekukhuleni kokuthandwa kweendawo ze-intanethi zokuzalwa ezifana I-Ancestry.com , ekhonza ngaphezu kwe-1.4 yezigidi zababhalisi, kunye nemiboniso yethelevishini efana no-Who Ucinga Ukuba Ungubani (NBC) kunye nokukhangela ... (OWN), abalandela abantu njengoko belandela iingcambu zabo.

Abantu balangazelela ukuqonda ukuba bavela phi, utsho uPamela Slaton, ingcali yokuzalwa eboniswe kumboniso othi Ukukhangela …. Kukho le mfuneko inamandla yokuqinisekiswa. Unokuba ngumntu omdala ophumelele kakhulu, owonwabileyo phezulu kumdlalo wakho. Kodwa kusoloko kukho umntwana ohlala ngaphakathi ofuna ukuqonda ukuba kutheni umntu engakufuni ebomini bakhe.



USlaton uthi abantu bakhuthazwa ukuba bakhangele izalamane zabo ngezinto ezininzi, ezibandakanya ukufa okanye ukuzalwa kusapho, umnqweno wokwazi ngakumbi ngobomi babo, okanye umdla wofuzo. Yaye abantu abadala abaninzi, wongezelela, bafuna ukwazi imvelaphi yabo yezonyango njengoko besiya bekhula.

Yiloo nto eyakhuthaza uFremont's Shelley Hamilton, 44, ukuba afune utata owashiya usapho ngexesha lokukhulelwa kukanina kwaye akazange aphinde avuke. Umama kaHamilton ekugqibeleni watshata nenye indoda, eyahlala naye iminyaka engama-35 de kwasekufeni kwayo.



Ndikhule ndiziva ndithandwa kwaye ndikhuliswe. Andizange ndizive ndilahlekile, utshilo uHamilton. Kodwa njengoko ndandibetha i-40 yam, ugqirha wam waqala ukubuza imibuzo emininzi malunga nembali yempilo yam. Yayiyinto endandicinga ukuba kufuneka ndiyazi.

Ngoncedo lwe-injini yokukhangela ye-Intanethi, uHamilton wafunda kwiminyaka emibini edlulileyo ukuba utata wakhe omzalayo wayehlala eMesa, eAriz. Emva kweencoko ezinde ngomnxeba, bavumelana ukuba badibane kwiBay Area.

Ukususela ngoko, uye waziswa kubantakwabo abathathu-udade kunye nabazalwana ababini. La mava, uthi, abe ngakwi-surreal kwaye aphakamisa.

Ndiziva ngathi ndiqala ubuhlobo obusekwe kwimisonto eqhelekileyo, utshilo. Yaye kubawo, ibingelokulungisa ixesha elidluleyo nokubuza, ‘Kwakutheni ukuze ungandikhangeli?’ Kumalunga nokuqonda ukuba ndingubani na nokuba ndingena phi ehlabathini. Nantso ubuhle bayo.

Kodwa iingcali zilumkisa ukuba ukhangelo losapho alusoloko luphela kamnandi. Ngokufuthi, baye basilele ukungxama, okanye okubi nangakumbi, babangele ukwenzakala ngokweemvakalelo.

USlaton, owamkela umntwana, uyazi kuqala malunga nemigibe. Kwiminyaka engamashumi amabini eyadlulayo, waqesha umphandi oyingcali ukuba afumane umama wakhe omzalayo, kodwa lo mfazi ekugqibeleni wala ukudibana naye.

Ndikhuphe amazinyo am. USlaton uthi, ndaziva ndityumkile, owachukunyiswa ngamava okunceda abanye kuphando lwabo.

Indishiye ndinokuqonda okunzulu ngamaxhala abathengi bam abadlula kuwo, utshilo. Ndicinga ukuba indinika ukuphiliswa kancinci.

USlaton uthi kubalulekile ukuba abakhangeli balungele nasiphi na isiphumo esinokubakho.

Kuya kufuneka uzibeke kwindawo apho wamkela khona iimpendulo kunye nemvakalelo yokuvala, utshilo.

Umhlali waseSan Lorenzo uCindi O'Neal, oneminyaka engama-62, wafumana uphando oluvelise iziphumo ezixubeneyo. Emva kokuba ejonge utata wakhe owayenxaxha iminyaka, wade wabhatalwa, wafumanisa ukuba wayesweleke kwiiveki ezintathu ngaphambili. Sekunjalo, imigudu yakhe yabangela ukuba izalamane ezininzi ezitsha zimamkele ngezandla ezishushu.

Ndicinga ukuba izinto zenzeka ngendlela ebekufanele ukuba zenzeke ngayo, utshilo. Ukuba ndandidibene notata, mhlawumbi ngendandikhuphela kuye umsindo wam. Ngendimnike iqhekeza lengqondo yam.

Umhlali waseFremont uMary Louise Harrington, oneminyaka engama-63, naye uye wafumana amahla ndinyuka endibano ekudala ilindelwe. Ngo-2001, unyana awamnikezela ukuba akhuliswe ngabazali bakhe ePhoenix kwiminyaka engama-34 eyadlulayo, wamkhangela. Wayevuya kakhulu.

Kangangeminyaka, ndandixelela abantu ukuba uza kundifumana. Bendifuna ukufunyanwa, utsho.

Emva kokudibana, bobabini babophe ngokukhawuleza kwaye benza ubudlelwane obuqhubekayo xa wayefudukela eSan Francisco. Kodwa ekupheleni kuka-2009, watshata ngaphandle kokumxelela, nto leyo eyakhokelela ekubeni baxabane. Abakhange bathethe ukususela ngoko.

Kulishwa ngokwenene, utshilo uHarrington. Kodwa ndinethemba lokuba siza kuzilungisa izinto.

Akukho zintlupheko zikhoyo phakathi kukaMat Love kunye nomama webhayoloji awamfumanayo ngoncedo lwemithetho yerekhodi yokwamkelwa ekhululekile yaseOregon. Ukususela kuloo ntlanganiso yokuqala e-Bandon, baye badibana kunye amaxesha amaninzi, Kwaye kulo nyaka uphelileyo, uye wafunda okuninzi malunga noBrown, umlungisi weenwele ozisebenzelayo, owayetshate ngokufutshane kwindoda ye-Air Force kodwa akazange abe nayo nayiphi na enye. abantwana.

Ukhululekile kakhulu ukuthetha naye, nto leyo eyandothusayo. Ndidla ngokuba neentloni kwaye ndiyathanda ukuzibamba, utsho uMatt, owayenomdla kukufumanisa ukuba yena noBrown babelana ngeendlela ezininzi, iimpawu zobuso kunye nothando lwezemidlalo.

U-Joan, okwangoku, uyakonwabela ukubona umyeni wakhe efumanisa izinto zakhe zangaphambili.

Uchukumiseke ngokupheleleyo kuNancy, utsho. Oku kuvula iingcango ezininzi ebezivaliwe ixesha elide, elide.

Funda iblogi yeTV kaChuck Barney kuyo http://blogs.mercurynews.com/aei/category/tv nimlandele ke http://twitter.com/chuckbarney .

Khangela Iingcebiso

Isazi somlibo wokuzalwa uPamela Slaton (http://pamelaobr) waqala wafumana ingqwalasela ebanzi xa wayeboniswa kuxwebhu lweVH1 malunga nokufumana usapho lukaDarryl McDaniels, ilungu leqela le-rap ethi Run DMC. Uye wabandakanyeka kumatyala aphumeleleyo angaphezu kwama-3,000 ukuza kuthi ga ngoku. Nanga amanye amacebiso akhe kubantu abakhangela amalungu osapho:

ZILUNGISE NGOKWESENKONZO: Xa ukhangela umntu, hlala ulungele zonke iziphumo ezinokubakho. Umntu omkhangelayo usenokungabi kwindawo ebomini bakhe apho anokunxibelelana nawe. Gxininisa ekuvalweni nakwiimpendulo. Nantoni na enye into kufuneka ithathwe njengebhonasi.
YIBA NEHLONIPHO: Cinga ukuba lo mntu umkhangelayo kusenokwenzeka ukuba akabelananga ngobomi bakho namanye amalungu osapho kunye nabahlobo. Thetha nomntu ngendlela eyimfihlo nangentlonelo. Ungaze ukhangele ngokuqhagamshelana nomntu wonke ngefani yomntu kwaye wabelane ngezinto ezinobuntununtunu kakhulu kunye nolwazi oluyimfihlo.
ZIFUNDISE: Yazi imithetho yelizwe ophanda kulo. Wonke urhulumente unoluhlu lwezinto ezifumaneka ngokusemthethweni kuluntu malunga neerekhodi ezibalulekileyo.

NDIYAQALISA
Ngaba ucinga ngokukhangela isalamane esilahlekileyo ixesha elide? Nanga amacebiso avela kumlibo wokuzalwa uPamela Slaton.
1. Qokelela nawaphi na amaxwebhu onawo kwaye ungathembeli ekukhunjulweni kwamanye amalungu osapho. Inkumbulo ithande ukuba mfiliba ngokuhamba kwexesha.
2. Gcina ilog yezenzo ozithathileyo ukufumana umntu omkhangelayo. Musa ukuchitha ixesha kunye nemali uphinda amanyathelo osele uwenzile.
3. Mamela iimvakalelo zakho.
4. Ukuba awuphumeleli ekuqaleni, zama kwakhona. Ukuzingisa ngundoqo. Ulwazi aluhoywa. Amagama anopelo olungalunganga.
5. Beka igama lakho kwiirejistri zokudibana kwakhona kwi-intanethi kangangoko unako. Qala ngeRegistry ye-International Soundex Reunion. Baya kukwazisa ukuba bafumene umdlalo.
6. Yiba nenkqubo yenkxaso. Thetha nosapho lwakho kwaye ulucele uncedo lwabo. Bazise ukuba ukhangelo lwakho lubalulekile kuwe kwaye ubacele inkxaso nothando lwabo.
Iiwebhusayithi zewebhu
Iiwebhusayithi eziluncedo onokuzijonga xa usenza uphendlo lwakho: I-Ancestry.com ; Ugcino lwamaphepha-ndaba (olusuka kwisixeko apho umzila wokukhangela usuka khona); Veromi.net (i-database engabizi kakhulu evulelwe ukusetyenziswa luluntu); Iisayithi zonxibelelwano ezifana ne-Facebook.